Celebrate Pride Guide!
A crowdsourced LGBTQ+ ally guide that's for students, by students.
About 1/3 of students who identify as LGBTQ+ have skipped school over safety concerns related to bullying and harassment. LGBTQ+ rights and safety are under attack in schools and communities across the country, and it’s our responsibility to step up.
That’s why, during Pride month, DoSomething set out to create an allyship guide that’s for students, by students. We asked, and young people responded with insightful, impactful, and just incredible ways to support our friends and neighbors. DoSomething members submitted over 4,400 tips(!!!), which we’ve compiled and organized into this groundbreaking guide. Read through for ways you can make safer and more inclusive spaces for everyone, both on a small and large scale. And if you submitted a tip to us, you can find your name (along with every other member who contributed!) at the bottom of the guide.
This guide was created with the support of GLSEN, an amazing organization working tirelessly to end discrimination, harassment, and bullying based on sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression in K-12 schools across the country. Huge thanks to them!
“I am impressed and thankful for the youth voices, with the support from DoSomething in contributing to this guide! Ally is a verb. Allyship is not performative, it’s action-oriented! Being an ally means taking action in solidarity with LGBTQ students and responding to their self-determined requests, for example, using the correct pronouns when referring to classmates or signing petitions demanding LGBTQ inclusion or policy change at school.”
—a.t. Furuya, Youth Programs Manager at GLSEN
1. Do your research!
The best foundation for any kind of allyship is awareness and education. You can’t build a productive relationship based on generalizations or stereotypes.
“Actively seek out information on genders or sexualities you don't understand,” Brooke says.
There are tons of resources out there about LGBTQ+ history, terminology, and research, so make it a priority to learn what you can. Some folks in the community may be eager to answer questions, but know that it isn’t anyone’s responsibility to teach you everything.
“By learning about the different identities, you can be more aware of what to expect from people and how to be more considerate,” says Kaelonna, 16.
2. Listen first.
Remember that you’re not a player in the game, you’re a fan on the sidelines. Make space for LGBTQ+ individuals to speak for themselves and let you know how to best support them -- keep in mind that this may be different for different people!
“Listen when people are talking and thank them for sharing their unique perspective and experience!” says Katelyn, 23.
Everyone can use a friend, and for folks experiencing harassment related to their identities, it can be especially helpful to have that kind of support. Be active in reaching out to friends who may be struggling. Learn about different mental health topics and the tools to help.
“Discover[ing] one's sexuality or gender can be extremely confusing, which is why it is important to listen freely without any bias,” says Isabella, 17.
3. Never pressure anyone to come out or define who they are.
How and when someone chooses to identify as LGBTQ+ is a personal decision, and sometimes it takes time. Pressure to come out really isn’t helpful when you’re trying to figure it all out.
“Respect the privacy of your LGBTQ+ friends,” says Namorrah, 17. “They will come out when they are ready.”
Identity can be a tricky thing to pin down, and gender and sexuality are especially fluid. If your LGBTQ+ friends are still unsure where they land in terms of gender or sexuality (or if it’s changing) be respectful of their process.
“It’s okay to switch through labels until one feels right for you,” says Takhya, 18. “It’s also okay to not choose a label at all.”
Remember, people are allowed to explore their identity, and grow and change along the way.
4. Be mindful of language.
Language is important in expressing identity, so make an effort to learn and validate the ways that others want to be referred to -- and the ways they don’t!
“Stop the ‘gay’ jokes,” says Christopher, 20. “Non-LGBTQ+ people need to be supportive and view LGBTQ+ as equals, not punchlines.”
Gender can be communicated with the use of pronouns, so mistaking someone’s pronouns also mistakes their gender. Similarly, respect the names people go by or the words they use to define themselves. It creates safer and more inclusive spaces for people to be themselves knowing that other people are going to respect their identity.
“[I support the LGBTQ+ community by] politely asking what [people’s] preferred pronouns are, and correcting myself and others when they're not called by that pronoun,” Hongyu says.
5. Create spaces for LGBTQ+ allyship at your school!
The climate of a school has a direct impact on both how well students learn and how well they interact with their peers. There are so many things that schools and individual students can do to improve how safe and included LGBTQ+ students feel every day.
“In my school, we have a whole school group that advocates and fight for the awareness of the community,” says Lauryn, 17. “We drive to educate the younger generations.”
If you want to start a club or group, that’s great! But you can make an impact even through smaller actions. Everything contributes to a more inclusive culture to learn in.
“Encourage your health teacher to talk about same-sex relationships when they talk about heterosexual relationships,” says Lily, 17. “It'll help normalize it even more for your peers.”
“Request LGBTQ+ books for the school library!” says Devon, 16.
6. Support businesses that stand with the LGBTQ+ community!
One of the most impactful ways to support the LGBTQ+ community is with your wallet.
“Contribute to LGBTQ+ based businesses and companies that align their views and messages with the community, unlike some big corporations that claim to be pro-LGBTQ+ yet donate to fundraisers and campaigns that oppress the community,” says Meghan, 16.
Check out these LGBTQ+-owned businesses that sell everything from shoes and clothing to furniture and chocolates. Just as important is making sure that your support is year-round and not just seasonal.
“I would support the LGBTQ+ community by working to convince big companies to make Pride merchandise year long and not just as a way to make money off of Pride month,” says Daniela, 17.
7. Keep an open mind, always.
There are tons of things that influence our perceptions of the world -- the way we’re raised, the media we consume, the people we surround ourselves with. But that doesn’t mean that you have to be stuck in one way of thinking. Allow yourself the space to explore and understand new concepts or perspectives.
“Make an effort to sit next to people of varied backgrounds and orientations, to involve yourself with all peoples,” says Max, 25. “The simplest act of inclusion is breaking down the lines of segregation that appear in cafeterias, in study halls, and in other examples, we unconsciously take in when deciding how to feel about a community.“
Once you feel like you have a strong grasp of topics related to the LGBTQ+ community, try to encourage others to do the same. Have conversations about LGBTQ+ identity and issues with friends and family to get them closer to the same kind of understanding.
“We must all play our part by opening the narrative and dialogue around rights and self-expression for all,” says Mayumi, 24.
8. Wear your allyship on your sleeve…or post it on your locker!
Proudly displaying your allyship helps in a couple of ways. For LGBTQ+ folks, it lets them know that you accept and include them, and that kind of visibility can be really comforting. For those who don’t identify as LGBTQ+, you’re destigmatizing and opening a dialogue about LGBTQ+ topics (and that means more allies!).
“At my school, we put posters on our lockers with positive messages like ‘love is love,’ ‘equality for all,’ ‘no hate,’” says Lily, 17. “Messages like that show people they're an ally, so encourage your friends to make posters for their lockers.”
Especially since you can’t really know every single person who may be needing support at your school, a few simple gestures of allyship have the potential to make a quiet (but meaningful) impact.
“Don't be an ally who stays in the shadows,” says 16-year-old Miranda. “Show your support publicly so that individuals know they have someone who supports them and who they can rely on.”
9. Demonstrate your allyship online!
We’ve probably all heard it a million times, but it remains true: the internet is a powerful tool. Use it to further amplify LGBTQ+ causes and voices.
“Signing online petitions is one of my preferred methods of supporting the LGBTQ+ community because it is a safe and easy way to provide support to those across the country (and even world) despite not being with them in person,” says Noah, 18.
Online movements usually pop up most frequently around current events related to the LGBTQ+ community. It’s important to keep the momentum going because the fight for LGBTQ+ liberation is year-round. For starters, you can sign this petition to support the Equality Act, which would prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity in employment, housing, public education, and elsewhere.
“On all social platforms be vocal and active about your support -- not just during annual events like Pride, but all throughout the year,” says Julia, 17. “If support functions are happening around your local area, spread the word with posting on your Instagram story, or sharing the event details by reposting on your Facebook page.”
10. Be an ally on the national level!
It’s a reality that LGBTQ+ people face systemic challenges related to everything from education to criminal justice. The good news is that, as an ally, there are steps you can take to do something about it.
“Fight for equal policies and the protection affecting LGBTQ people,” says 16-year-old Jayla, “call representatives and express your concerns, and fight the policies and laws that are legalizing discrimination of LGBTQ community.”
Often, people who don’t pay attention to LGBTQ+ voices will if straight and/or cisgender people share those thoughts, feelings, and arguments. Is that fair? No. But it’s also a reality, and it’s an opportunity for allies to do their part.
“Register to vote!” writes Gianna, 19. “[This is a way] to have my voice heard for the youth who are not yet old enough to speak up this way!”
Thank You!
Super special thanks to all of the following DoSomething members who helped contribute to this ally guide. It (literally) wouldn't be possible without you all.
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