No Prom Date? No Worries.

“Who are you going with to prom?”

For so many people, that question brings about instant panic. Everyone wants to make sure they find that perfect person to make prom unforgettable. But the truth is -- no date, no problem. If you’re stressed about finding or not having a date, here are four things to remind yourself.

1. "I can still ask someone!"

That you can! My attitude towards everything is, if you want it, go get it. So, if you want a date, get a date. Don’t be afraid to ask someone. And yes, anyone can ask anyone. We are not into gender norms here. Consider asking a friend, someone from another school, or even that kinda random kinda cute person from your freshman year Spanish class. And remember, everyone loves an elaborate promposal, but a genuine text, DM, or IRL conversation works just as well.

Your date doesn’t have to be someone you want to date or anything romantic, if you don’t want it to be. It’s just a matter of working up the confidence to ask someone. Put on your favorite outfit, pop in mint, and go for it. Best of luck, my friends.

And if you get rejected, it’s ok. You’re still amazing. Take some time to make yourself feel better, go for a walk, hug your best friend or your mom, talk to your pet...whatever you need in that moment. And no worries! There are other things to tell yourself too.

2. "Going with my friends will be better anyway."

TRUE. It’s better not to go with someone you’re intimidated by or who you feel you need to impress. Instead, you want to be with someone who is going to make you feel 100% confident. And who better to do that with than your friends! Throughout high school, you and your friends have made memories and stood by each other through the good, the bad, and the ugly. It definitely makes sense to conclude your high school experience with those who made your high school experience!

3. "Lots of people won't have dates."

That’s for sure! The worst case scenario is you won’t have a date, and all your friends have been asked. AHH, instant panic. Look, I get it: No one wants to be a third wheel, or maybe even the 11th wheel. If all your friends have a date but you don’t, get to know your friends’ dates and have for one big dance party! Plus, there are lots of pros for not bringing a date to prom, including:

• You’ll have no date drama.
• You won’t have to worry about matching with your date.
• You don’t have to spend money on your date.
• You don’t have to meet your date’s parents. No awkward photos and way less pressure.
• You can mingle and dance with everyone.
• You can make post-prom plans with a big group.

4. “Whether or not I have a prom date doesn't define who I am or who I will be in the future.”

Prom is something I remember, but most certainly never defined me. The boy I had a crush on asked another one of my friends, and needless to say, I was pretty heartbroken. But I ended up going with one of my best friends at the time, and all of his friends went with my girlfriends. It was an amazing time! No drama, just dancing. Now 5+ years later, I’ve lost touch with both of them. But, I look back on prom as a really fun end to my high school experience.

TL; DR: Don’t get caught up in expectations. Ask someone, go with friends, or go without a date -- do what makes you feel comfortable and ensures you have the best time.

Big thanks to Charlanne Zepf, a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist in White Plains, New York, for her help with this story.

Stressed about other prom stuff? Check out our guides on body image/confidence, finances, sex, and drinking. Or use our Prom Anxiety Textline by texting PROM to 38383.