Feeling Nervous About Prom? We've Got You!

Prom season is here, which can be super exciting and also super...stressful. If you’re nervous about the big night, the good news is, you’re not alone! It’s totally normal to feel anxious before prom night and DoSomething is here to help. We asked students to send us their biggest questions about anything and everything relating to prom, then asked independent marriage and family therapist Jessica Ketner to weigh in.

Read on! (And if you’re still feeling stressed, use our Prom Anxiety Textline by texting PROM to 38383.)

Student: “Is prom even worth going to?”

Jessica: Prom is worth going to if it is something that feels important to YOU. You don't need to go to prom because other people think it is important or special. If it’s something that seems like it might be fun or exciting or a special memory, then going is a great idea!

“Will I be missing out if I don’t go to prom?”

It could be disappointing to see pictures or hear stories about other people's fun experiences at prom. But prom is not the only opportunity for special memories during the school year. If you decide not to go and feel worried about missing out, maybe plan something else fun to do with your friends that better fits your personality or something that feels more comfortable for you.

“I don’t do well with crowds.”

First, try to consider what it is about crowds that is scary or uncomfortable for you. Sometimes people feel anxious in a crowd if they think they are trapped or can’t escape the situation. Sometimes crowds are uncomfortable due to personal insecurities about what people might be thinking about them. Know that most times, these are stories that our anxious minds create, and they intensify as our bodies experience physical symptoms of anxiety and our minds spin. Think of an exit plan. Most of the time, just knowing that you can leave if you need to or if you feel too uncomfortable is enough to provide the relief you need.

If you start to feel overwhelmed by the crowd, see if you can focus on the person or people you are with, the conversation you are having, the song you are dancing to, or something that will bring you into the present moment. Try to close your eyes and focus on slow and deep breaths until you can feel your thoughts slow down and your body relax. You can also leave the big room where the dancing and music are and take a moment in the bathroom, or share your worries with a friend.

“I’m nervous my date won’t have fun.”

I am always an advocate for an open line of communication. It’s likely that if you are feeling worried about the night going well, your date may be wondering the same thing. Even if they aren't, talking about it can ease those fears or help put those thoughts out in the open. If things feel awkward, you could have a plan to pull a friend to the side and ask for help to lighten the mood. You could suggest dancing or hanging out with another couple for a little bit to ease any awkward moments.

“I feel awkward on the dancefloor.”

First of all, you do not have to dance at prom to have fun! There are probably other people there who don’t want to dance. Strike up a fun conversation or get to know some new people. If you want to dance and just feel awkward, remember that you don't have to be an awesome dancer to move your body and sing along to the music and enjoy yourself. Other people are not going to be critiquing your dance moves. You could even put on some music at home before prom night and feel what it’s like to let yourself go and dance without the worry of what it looks like.

Editor’s note: Check out this guide on dancing at prom.

“What if I don’t have any friends to go with?”

If you are going to prom alone, it’s likely that you will end up seeing people there that you know. You’ll probably run into people that you have classes with and you can strike up a conversation with them. Even when people go to prom with a date or in a group, they do not always just hang out with that person the entire night.

Still having prom stress about finances, dates, drinking, body image, or sex? We’ve got you. Use our Prom Anxiety Hotline by texting PROM to 38383.