Prom Discrimination: Student Stories From All 50 States

Prom is supposed to be an experience every student can celebrate and remember. But thousands face discrimination on the basis of race, sexual orientation, gender identity, body type, ability, income, or even clothing choice. Yes, this happens in 2019. And yes, this happens in all 50 states.

It’s time to take back the prom. We asked DoSomething members across the country to add their stories to our national map of prom discrimination and inspire others to act. With the help of over 2,500 students like you, we’re exposing prom injustices and making 2019 the most inclusive year of prom yet. Keep reading to see how schools in your state are excluding students from having the prom experience they deserve.

Alabama:

“One of my friends was genderfluid. They are AMAB (assigned male at birth) and were required to wear masculine clothing (a suit with pants) to attend prom. They did not feel comfortable presenting as male.”

Alaska:

“My school doesn’t give another gender option of winning a title besides king and queen. As a nonbinary person myself, I think it is very restricting and I wouldn’t even have the chance to possibly win a prom crown just because I don’t fall under the king or queen category.”

Arizona:

“Well, they at least let me bring my same-sex date but her ticket cost $100 more than it would have if we were eligible for ‘couple pricing’ as a straight couple.”

Arkansas:

“I just always thought it was odd to have a dress code. Girls had to get their dresses approved before the prom date but guys could wear whatever they wanted.”

California:

“All girls need to send a picture of themselves in their prom dress to administration in order to be allowed into prom. Any girl who did not send in a picture of themselves in the dress will not be allowed in and will be turned away at the door.”

Colorado:

“I brought my boyfriend (I'm gay) and one of my teachers told me I was a sinner.”

Connecticut:

“At my school you needed to provide some form of evidence proving you are gay in order to be able to take someone of the same gender to prom. I don't know how you would provide evidence of that and as a result those people usually went to prom alone or didn't go at all.”

Delaware:

“I attend an all-girls private school and we are unable to bring same-sex guests to our Junior or Senior Prom.”

District of Columbia:

“At my school they only allow a king and queen, and only guys can ask someone to a dance, so girls have to wait to be asked.”

Florida:

“I was allowed to take my (now) girlfriend to prom but when we got there, if we tried to dance together (or like hold hands) they would turn down the music for a second and tell us to separate.”

Georgia:

“Prom is a big night for most people and those attending most likely want to look nice. My school places regulations on the hairstyles of African American girls. I see this as unfair because hair is a way where many people channel and express their culture.”

Hawaii:

“My school doesn't permit same-sex couples to run for prom court.”

Idaho:

“In our school's senior awards, the ‘best couple’ award had to be a straight couple. Same-sex couples were not allowed to even be nominated.”

Illinois:

“They have a rule about BRA STRAPS. And girls have been escorted out in the past.”

Indiana:

“A friend of mine wanted to take her girlfriend to the prom. She filled out all of the paperwork and got every signature required for a dance guest, but the school denied her as a guest because their relationship doesn't fit the ‘moral code’ of the school.”

Iowa:

“At my school we've had a couple of occasions of male students not being allowed into prom and other formal dances only because they were wearing dresses. Their reasoning was that it was ‘offensive.’”

Kansas:

“At my school, it is okay for two females to go to prom as friends. Males on the other hand aren't allowed to go together as friends, let alone if they are in a relationship.”

Kentucky:

“I was born female, but am transitioning to male and was forbidden from wearing a suit/tux. I never went to my prom.”

Louisiana:

“Once my white friend wanted to take a African American male to junior prom, but she was not able to because they were an interracial couple. It wasn't exactly the school but the people and students that felt uncomfortable about the situation and even made fun of it.”

Maine:

“My boarding school did not allow for people of the same gender to attend prom together.”

Maryland:

“I went to an all girls school and for a school dance my girlfriend and I saw this as an opportunity to do something nice. In the first 20 minutes she was kicked out of the venue because we were a same sex couple.”

Massachusetts:

“My high school is an all-boys Catholic school. It is a rule that the bishop must bless our prom before the dance starts. This means that if you happen to be gay, you must bring a date that is of the different sex.”

Michigan:

“Girls are required to wear shawls if their dresses show their shoulders or backs. Strapless dresses are ‘highly discouraged’ and ‘extremely inappropriate.’”

Minnesota:

“I was not able to wear a jumpsuit to prom because it was not considered gender appropriate.”

Mississippi:

“My school told us we had to dress like the gender we were born as or we would not be allowed to enter.”

Missouri:

“Senior year of high school my girlfriend went to an all-girl Catholic school. I'm also female, and the school had a strict policy against bringing a girl to a dance, even if it was just as friends.”

Montana:

“At my school, people are allowed to have a same-sex date, but when they do they are usually judged and isolated a lot more at the dances. I've also heard that they make them pay more to get in sometimes.”

Nebraska:

“Girls must wear dresses and I can't take a same-sex date.”

Nevada:

“In my school's prom, same sex partners are not allowed to show public affection to each other because it might make other people uncomfortable.”

New Hampshire:

“No cross-dressing policy.”

New Jersey:

“I was in a wheelchair in high school and my prom was not wheelchair accessible! They made all students take a bus from our school to the venue, which wasn't wheelchair accessible.”

New Mexico:

“At my school a gender fluid guy ran for prom queen and he had more than 75% of the school vote for him. The principal wouldn't allow it and announced him as a runner up instead of the queen.”

New York:

“You had to go with a date, you weren't allowed to go without one. Girls had to go with guys. You couldn't go with friends, like just a group of guys or a group of girls going together. And even if same-sex couples wanted to go, they couldn't go together.”

North Carolina:

“At my school, all females attending prom are required to get their outfits approved by the assistant principal.”

North Dakota:

“In my sophomore year I wasn't allowed to take my girlfriend to our formal and we were told we couldn’t walk together or buy the cheaper couple tickets.”

Ohio:

“My school doesn't allow us to take girls to prom -- it's an all girls Catholic high school. They disguise it as ‘prom for just our students’ but they allow male students from other schools to come as dates.”

Oklahoma:

“I am a white female and was unable to take my black boyfriend to prom. They said it was because he was from another school but other girls were allowed to bring their dates from other schools.”

Oregon:

“My friend was slow-dancing with her girlfriend and got called out by a teacher, while straight couples were making out on the dance floor and not getting in trouble for it.”

Pennsylvania:

“My Arabic friend was not allowed to come to prom with me because of her ethnicity. My principal said, ‘Sorry we have to protect our own against those people.’”

Rhode Island:

“My school did not allow same sex prom but my senior year we took a stand and made it so same sex couples could go to prom. One of my close friends is lesbian and I wanted to fight for her!”

South Carolina:

“Not being able to have an interracial date. Other students hated to see me with a white boyfriend. They made a big fuss about it and got the teachers involved. So I ended up not being able to take my boyfriend to prom.”

South Dakota:

“Last year at prom I was dress coded and publically humiliated for what I was wearing. Another girl had the exact same dress on as me and other girls had more revealing dresses on than me, yet I was the one to be dress coded. Was it because I'm darker than the other girls? Was it because I have a different body shape than the other girls?"

Tennessee:

“Girls are not allowed to wear sundresses or more casual or inexpensive dresses, making it far more difficult for girls from underprivileged families to attend prom.”

Texas:

“Me and my boyfriend weren't allowed in prom because he is a different race. They told him to go back where he came from.”

Utah:

“One of the proms I attended, this curvy sized girl was wearing a dress as revealing as most of the other girls'. Because she was just heavier, the teachers told her she couldn't be there wearing that, because she was showing too much cleavage and it was apparently making other students uncomfortable.”

Vermont:

“I went to a Catholic high school and my junior year a gay couple won princess and princess (like king and queen but for the lower classmen) then the next year the administration banned a same-sex couple from winning.”

Virginia:

“I know of a girl who wanted to wear a suit to prom, but the school wouldn't let her in despite the fact that she paid and had a ticket.”

Washington:

“I think it's really unfortunate for Muslim girls like me who want to attend prom but can't due to the hyper-sexualization of the dresses and we get made fun of for covering up more even though that's how we feel comfortable.”

West Virginia:

“Our school had rules about attire based on gender. Girls could not wear suits, only formal dresses, and many were refused entry for choosing to wear a suit.”

Wisconsin:

“During my junior year of high school, I was told I had to go put on a coat over my dress because I was showing too much ‘curviness.’ At the time, my dress size was 10.”

Wyoming:

"When I was in high school, we had an LGBTQA group that consisted of a tight knit group of girls and one guy who were friends and a handful of them came out as gay, queer or trans after high school. They would go to prom as a dinner party but never as couples. Everyone I knew who was a member of LGBTQA kept it a secret until after high school because of the stigma as it was a small town and a Christian community."