Ask Freddie: “How Do I Gain More Confidence?”

“Ask Freddie” is a monthly advice column where Freddie, DoSomething’s Director of Mobile Messaging, answers anonymous questions from DoSomething members. The topics are always different -- the answers are always REAL. Are you seeking advice? Ask Freddie an anonymous question.

Question: I am going into my second year in a four-year university. I’m a very timid person but I want to get more involved in my college. Do you have any tips on how I can improve my confidence and break out of my shell?

Dear Very Timid Person,

The fact that you want to get out and be involved in your college suggests to me that you’re not as shy as you think you are, but are looking for ways to get yourself out there and boost your self-esteem. The very act of reaching out with your question in the first place shows me that you’re brave and open to taking risks! So my first tip, would to keep on being you -- you’re already great.

But I’ll add to that -- feeling confident is hard. I struggle with feeling confident myself sometimes. Some days I wake up look at myself in the mirror and think “You’re one good looking, smart, funny and caring dude. Go you!” and other days it feels hard getting out of bed because I feel like a sack of potatoes. It’s normal to not feel confident 24/7, but there are steps you can take to break out of that shell, little turtle. These tips helped me, I hope they help you too:

1. Create positive affirmations for yourself. As silly as it sounds, telling myself all the things I like about me to me reminds me of all the things that make me great. Give yourself a little pep talk in the morning or leave a positive note on your mirror so you’ll always have the reminder.

2. Learn something new. If you want to get more involved at school, look at different clubs or activities that might be new to you. You’ll get to meet new people, and by learning a new skill like knitting, baking, playing guitar, playing volleyball, whatever it is -- you’ll feel accomplished and have something new to share with the world.

3. Exercise. This doesn’t need to mean going to gym every day, but try to take 30 mins every day for some physical activity. I’m by no means super fit, but taking my dog for a walk every day gets me moving and my endorphins flowing. Moving helps release endorphins in your body, which is linked to having a better more positive mood.

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