Ask Freddie: “I’m Freaking Out About School Lockdowns”

“Ask Freddie” is a monthly advice column where Freddie, DoSomething’s Director of Mobile Messaging, answers anonymous questions from DoSomething members. The topics are always different -- the answers are always REAL. Are you seeking advice? Ask Freddie an anonymous question.

Hi friends!

No matter whether you’re celebrating with someone or flying solo, I hope you’re all having a wonderful Valentine’s Day. At DoSomething, the entire staff gets the day off so we can decide to celebrate (or not celebrate) however we choose. Today, I’m choosing to spend the day loving on my pets and showing gratitude and love for my girlfriend through pasta and homemade pie.

But as I’m taking time today to love on the people and pets closest to me, I can’t shake the sadness that comes along with this day. One year ago today, 17 lives were taken in a school shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. My heart continues to go out to the friends and families of those lost, and those affected by gun violence everywhere -- I can only imagine how hard today must be.

Today we remember the 17 lost:

• Alyssa Alhadeff
• Scott Beigel
• Martin Duque Anguiano
• Nicholas Dworet
• Aaron Feis
• Jaime Guttenberg
• Chris Hixon
• Luke Hoyer
• Cara Loughran
• Gina Montalto
• Joaquin Oliver
• Alaina Petty
• Meadow Pollack
• Helena Ramsay
• Alex Schachter
• Carmen Schentrup
• Peter Wang

The shooting at Stoneman Douglas High School is one we remember more because of the magnitude of how many people were lost, but also because of the student activism and movement that grew from it. But the reality is gun violence and school shootings has an impact on all of us. Since 2000, there have been more than 130 shootings at elementary, middle and high schools, and 58 others at colleges and universities. And if you’ve been going to school during that time, you’re probably all too familiar with school lockdowns and safety drills. One DoSomething member recently sent me this question:

A couple months ago, our school ended up in lockdown and ever since then I've had freakouts when I think about it. I want to talk to my friends about it but I have no idea how. Help?

I usually answer your questions about stress related to dating or having too much work at school, but sadly, the anxiety and stress related to the fear and anxiety of school shootings is all too real. What you’re going through is normal for students in today’s America. According to the American Psychological Association, 72% of Gen Z reports that school shootings (or the possibility of them occurring) as a significant source of stress.

It sounds like the freakouts are connected to the anxiety and/or stress you’re experiencing from the lockdown. Moments like that can trigger panic attacks, or bring on anxiety or depression. Experiencing traumatic moments like that can negatively impact your body.

In my own experiences with panic attacks, it feels like I can’t breathe and the room is spinning. Panic attacks can look different for everyone, so it’s helped me to learn what my triggers are and how to identify my panic attacks so I can keep them under control. One tool that’s helped me the most is this simple GIF.

Simply breathe in and out as the octagon expands. If you feel like you’re having a freakout, keep this handy and remember to breathe.

And as your question suggests, talking to friends and people you trust is one of the best ways to manage your anxiety, but starting the conversation can be tricky. Remember that your friends love you and want to support you the best they can. Given the stat I referenced earlier, it’s likely your friends are feeling stressed from the lockdown too so will understand where you’re coming from.

If you’re looking to start the conversation with them, ask if they feel okay talking about it. Try asking something like, “Hey X, would you mind if I talked to you about the school lockdown we had a couple months ago?” Let them know what’s going on for you and ask them what you need from them as a friend.

It’s actually that -- conversation -- that’s going to help us all get through these hard moments, and to help us push to end gun violence once and for all. After the tragedy in Parkland, Florida last year, student activists responded by creating a nationwide movement -- walking out of their schools, into their streets, and straight to the polls. Today we honor the lives lost, celebrate the progress we’ve made, and gear up for the work ahead to make our communities safe.

Sending you all love today,

Freddie