7 Steps to Having Positive Online Discussions

If used correctly, social media can make everyone feel more confident, connected, and accepted. But thanks to haters, trolls, misinformation, general toxicity, and the occasional out-of-control stan, the internet can sometimes be a super negative place.

If you’re like me, you definitely want to do something about it. And the good news is, it is possible to create positive spaces and productive conversations online, even with people whose opinions don’t align with yours. Use these seven tips to get started and then take our quiz, powered by SCE, to help others be safer and smarter online. Let’s Do This!

1. Be intentional about who you follow.

The easiest step to creating a positive online community is to be mindful about the accounts you interact with. Find content that makes you feel happy -- whether it’s cute animal videos, your favorite unfiltered celebs, or inspiring activists. Share posts that have a positive message to brighten up your timeline and don’t feel guilty about unfollowing people whose online presence you find infuriating or toxic, even if you like who they are IRL.

2. Know when to step away.

Unfollowing isn’t the only option when it comes to keeping your timeline looking positive. If you receive a negative comment or notice one on someone else’s post, you don’t always have to clap back. Sometimes a response will only add more fuel to the fire, so it’s best to just mute the conversation and keep scrolling. You’ve heard it before: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. And if someone else doesn’t have anything nice to say, you don’t have to sit there and listen to it.

3. Slide into their DMs.

If you do choose to engage with a negative post or comment, sometimes keeping that conversation out in the open just fuels the fire and invites other people to add their opinions, which may just escalate the situation. Send the person a direct message and let them know why their post is hurtful to you. And keep things respectful: not just for their sake, but also for yours -- someone could screenshot your DM and post it publicly. If they’re spreading misleading information, share an article that you think could be useful. Moving the discussion to a more private setting is a productive way of starting a conversation without seeming like you’re putting this person on blast.

4. Diffuse the tension with humor.

This may be easier said than done, but sometimes all you can do is laugh the negativity away. Responding with a joke can take some of the sting away from the negativity and make the situation less tense for everyone involved. You might not be able to clapback like Chrissy Teigen right away, but taking yourself less seriously online can be a huge stress reliever.

5. Kill ‘em with kindness.

Sometimes it can be hard to keep an open mind when you see a post you don’t agree with. Even though you might be quick to judge this person for their words, responding with a snarky comment can be just as hurtful. If you decide to respond to their post, try to be patient and empathetic. Remember that there’s a real person behind the screen; if your response is something you wouldn’t say to their face, you probably shouldn’t say it online.

6. Take a break.

Social media can be a great place for expressing yourself and building a friendly community, but if your mood is affected by comments you’re reading online, it might be time to start a social media cleanse. Start by limiting yourself to checking the apps only twice a day, or delete them from your phone for a week if you need serious detoxing. You’d be surprised how much you can get done -- and how much happier you might feel -- when you’re not constantly scrolling.

7. Know when to block or report hate speech.

Most of the time, negative comments are nothing more than a nuisance, but online harassment is very real and very scary. If you see a message that crosses a line or feels threatening, hit that report button. Major social media platforms like Twitter and Facebook will suspend users for reported hate speech, which “often looks like attacks on people for their perceived race, color, religion, ethnicity, gender, and sexual orientation.”